Vancouver Market Will Embarrass The F*** Out Of You If You Need A Plastic Bag

By my count, I own at least two dozen reusable grocery bags, and I’ve amassed this hefty collection because if you’re anything like me, you leave them in the trunk of your car or on the kitchen counter. I could also use a single-use plastic bag, but guilt allows me to add to my collection continuously.

Of course, the best way to get shoppers to bring their reusable totes and forego using a plastic bag is to shame them.

At least, that’s what Vancouver gourmet grocer East West is attempting to do. In a bid to get their customers who forget to bring their reusable bags, they’ll give shoppers a plastic bag for 5 cents and embarrass the ever-living shit out of them as they’ve printed up a batch of cringe-worthy designs bearing the insignias of fake companies like “The Colon Care Co-Op,” “Dr. Toew’s Wart Ointment Wholesale” and my personal favorite, “Into The Weird Adult Video Emporium.”

“So many people own reusable bags but forget to bring them,” said East West owner David Lee Kwen in Vancouver is Awesome. “We want to help customers remember their reusable bags in a way that will really stick with them.”

It’s estimated that, globally, we use 500 billion to 1 trillion single-use plastic bags each year, and we only recycle one bag for every 200. Currently, Vancouver doesn’t have a ban on single-use plastic bags, and they’ve asked businesses to make cutting down on plastic a priority, though a ban could be in the works if the city doesn’t hit their reduction goals by 2025.

Anywho, this is just a friendly reminder to bring your reusable totes to the grocery store, and if you're anywhere near the East West Market, definitely don’t forget unless you want your fellow citizens to know that you really, really care about how your colon is doing.