Canadians Don’t Know How To Pour Ketchup So Heinz Made Them A Special Bottle

by Bill McCool on 09/06/2019 | 2 Minute Read

Listen, if you want to get ketchup out of that Heinz bottle, you’re supposed to tilt the vessel at a 45-degree angle and bang on the 57. That’s it. 

You can use the palm of your hand or do a karate chop. Hell, use a hammer. What do I care?

There’s no voodoo or alchemy to this. There are no dark arts or blueprints necessary to make your ketchup happen. You certainly don’t hold the bottle straight over your food and shake, because, what are you? Some kind of animal? You just hit the side of the bottle and, voila, cat soup. 

Editorial photograph

OK?

Apparently, that’s not good enough, so Heinz Canada released a limited-editiod bottle that twists the label around so that when bottle is held just like so, the label is upright ONLY when you’re pouring from the optimum angle.

The instructive packaging comes courtesy of Canadian design agency Rethink, and is only available in the Toronto test market where our poor neighbors to the north suffer dry-burger on a daily basis. 

Is the packaging design clever? Sure. Do you need this? No. I just told you how to pour your stupid ketchup, which you should have already known how to do. Jeez.

Anyway, if you were using a butter knife to get the stuff out, I pity you. Go watch some YouTube videos or, you know, I don’t know? Ask Ed Sheeran. Apparently, he loves this stuff.

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