Hi. Diehard Mayo guy here. 

I’ve long been a Hellmann’s booster, although all the foodie folk say you should use Duke’s. That’s fine and all, but you tend to use the tools you were raised with. And that’s OK.

Still, mayo bros got miracle-whipped into a frenzy a handful of years back because apparently the young folks hate the GOAT’d condiment. That was likely never true, though the very nature of the best-ever sammy spread screams bowties and Tucker Carlson.