Featured image for Self-Care Means Not Eating Pumpkin Spice Spam

Self-Care Means Not Eating Pumpkin Spice Spam

by Shawn Binder on 08/14/2019 | 1 Minute Read

Fall is the perfect time of year to see leaves change color, to reflect on summer romances and heartbreaks, to stop sweating through every one of your shirts, and to daydream about what pumpkin spice nightmare corporate America will serve us this year. 

Looks like 2019 is full of horror, and perhaps the biggest scare of the season thus far is Pumpkin Spice Spam. The packaging takes the original Spam branding, swapping the gradient blue for a more seasonal orange gradient. Replacing the iconic and unappetizing Spam sandwich are two pumpkins, which serve as a stark reminder that pumpkin spice tastes absolutely nothing like pumpkins but hell, branding is branding. 

Editorial photograph

A sample of the abomination found its way to The Daily Meal whose testers had pretty good reviews of the stuff, comparing it to breakfast sausage and saying it "wasn't as bad as they expected." While it's a relief that pumpkin spice spam looks like regular spam, we’re not sure we can get on board with this no matter how great it tastes. 

Sometimes society takes a trend too far, and Pumpkin Spice Spam seems like a clear sign of the apocalypse, no matter how familiar that salty pork taste is to consumers. It’s gonna be a no from us, dawg, but for those who are willing to take a risk, Pumpkin Spice Spam will be available exclusively on Spam.com and Walmart.com. 

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